Article · 14 July 2026 · 4 min
The question I ask in every first session
It isn't about goals, strengths or where you see yourself in five years. It's much ruder than that, and it works.
Every first session starts the same way. Before the history, before the CV, before the tidy summary people have rehearsed on the way over, I ask: what have you already decided, but haven't admitted yet?
Almost everyone has an answer. They usually apologise while giving it. They've decided they're leaving. They've decided the relationship is over. They've decided they don't want the promotion everyone assumes they're chasing. The decision is made — what's missing is permission and a plan.
The reason the question works is that it skips the part of coaching people find most comfortable: describing the problem beautifully. You can spend a lot of money describing a problem beautifully. Naming the decision moves you into the part that costs something.
If the honest answer is genuinely 'nothing', that's useful too. It means we're earlier in the process than you thought, and the work is exploration rather than execution. Those are different programmes, and confusing them wastes months.
Try it on yourself this week. Write the sentence down. Don't show it to anyone yet.
Recognise yourself in this?
The intro call is twenty minutes and costs nothing. Bring the sentence you've been avoiding.
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